Lose Again

As I look over my year, I think the song belows sums it up!!
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You ruined me;
You took away my dreams;
You did exactly what I wasn't hoping for.
You changed the end--
Now I'm confused about the means;
You make me feel as if my prayers have been ignored.

I'm falling up this mountain--
I'm rising down to freedom.

This is not how
I would have chosen it to end.
It makes it hard to see you as a friend.
But where would we be now,
if you had let me win?
Hallelujah, I lose again.

You got your way.
It must be nice
to never have to choose your battles,
knowing you can always win.
I tried to fight.
I'm so pathetic,
I thought I was standing strong,
when I was kneeling to my sin.

You sure don't make this easy--
You break my will to free me.

In everything you do,
There is less of me,
There is more of you.
In everything you do,
There is death to lies
by the sword of truth.

But I'm not always ready,
I'm not always ready,
I'm not always ready,
For what you put me through.

- Ross King "Lose Again" (And all the decorations too)