Gift? Or Curse?

So, I've recently been thinking about my life. This is not a totally unusual thing, but I've come to a conclusion. Now, I can't go into a lot of detail right now, but I wanted to touch on it a bit.

So, if you know me or even have kept up with this blog much, you know that I have a ridiculously strong desire to be married. I feel (and believe my pastor, Jason, has confirmed through his recent sermons) that my role, the thing I was created for, was to be a helper/partner/wife to a God-fearing man and should God allow, to raise children to be Godly men and women both roles for furthering the gospel.

That being said, I had an epiphany this morning driving to work and praying. I'm praying this season I find myself in (singleness) is shorter lived that it has been (25 years), however, at this moment I don't want to seek or focus on a relationship.

Context: Paul says over and over in scripture that singleness or marriage is a GIFT. In our society, especially in Christian single women, we feel like singleness is part of the curse. This however is not at all true. We discussed in my CG (community group) last week about the way we, as singles, view our present state. We didn't vocalize much because I think if we were all gut-level honest, we wouldn't say we see singleness as a gift. This morning however, I realized otherwise.

I have a friend who is walking through some tough times right now. It seems like, whether in large or small ways, she is being hit personally, professionally, physically and emotionally. When I talked to her, I was able to let her have an outlet to process but then was able to prayer with/for/over her. I don't know what it meant to her, but I know it lit a fire in me. (Prayer always seems to do that to me.) As I processed that encounter this morning, I realized that being single, I have such a greater ability to minister to others. This is not something that would go away by ANY means once I get married, but I will be more limited.

Right now, my hearts desire is to encourage single men when I see them being Godly, strong leaders and pursuing God with a pure heart. I think that most single men do not get the encouragement when they DO step up as men. The "feminist" movement has made men to be weak, lazy, foolish figures who are a detriment to the woman's independence. We see it in commercials and TV shows often. The thing is, especially because of those things, people harp on men and point out when they act in that "weak, lazy, foolish" role and hardly ever point out when they do things right. When they lead, submit, serve well. So as long as the Lord wills, I want to make a point to encourage men to be men.

This is not always received from a grateful heart. I have had it seen as I'm "hitting on" them. This is a great battle for me, because when I do encourage a brother in Christ, I am extra careful to go before the Lord before I open my mouth to make sure it is from a pure heart. Now, the man or those watching are not aware of how much time I spend with the Lord before I do this. However, I have to trust that God knows my heart, motive and intent on doing it.

All this to say, if I was married, I would not be able to operate in this capacity (encouraging Godly men to BE Godly men) so as long as I am single I will embrace this as a gift and try to be a faithful steward of my gifting and passion (prayer and encouragement). I am hoping to start viewing this seasons, however long the Lord so has me here, to be a gift and not take for granted the ministry opportunities before me.